My Cinderela Story

I felt like a Cinderella ... With different versions of course. Cinderella which I knew, was the girl who has a step mother and her evil step sister. But I'm grateful still have both biological parents even if they are separated because of their work. Similarity is that I really felt alone like her. My father, he was busy with his job. I know he loves me.I just can't understand how the way he loves me. I love him and always tried to obey his orders. But many things that made me feel like I can't be his daughter. He always asked me to be like anyone else who he considered perfect. Sometimes I have to pretend to be my cousin, sometimes I have to pretend to be someone else. I never refuse. I tried to keep his desires. I just can't believe why he never felt satisfied. He wanted me as smart as my cousin. I proved it by being the best on campus. But, he was never proud of me. He never knew that I was different with everyone. I love her. I just have other way to make him happy without having to be someone else. Because my father never gave me the freedom and equal rights, as the people he proud of. I always considered like a little girl with a million rules and restrictions. I want to be like the others. Who can decide what they want. but the truth is I never got the confidence to decide the way of life that I choose. I know he always gives the best for me. But should i do this way? My mother is very different from my father. I love her more than anything else. She is my idol, my best friend, my brother, and everything to me. I always tell her anything. About my school, my friend, my experiences, my love story, a lot of things. And she was always willing to listen, gave me advice when I need, comfort me when I hesitated, always besides me when i sad and happy. I'm proud to be her daughter. Althoughs he and I separated a short distance so far, we have always felt close. And I miss her very much. Every heard of her, seeing the other kids could be with his family, I always cry. I'm jealous. I feel why I can not like other children? But I never want her cry because of me. She only can cry because she proud of me. And that's why I always try to be the best anywhere. Because I want her to be proud of me. I've always wanted my dad proud of me too. But I know that it is too impossible. I just wish my mother proud of me. Nothing more than that. I had two brother who always makes me cry. I love them. I never able to just scold or hit them. But somehow, they always try to make me cry with their behavior. Honestly, I feel like i'm a bad sister. I never could advise them, guide them. Not that I do not want to do it. I just not ready with all their rude words against me.My family are also different. In banyuwangi, I'm always happy. They was never order me to be someone else. In there, I'm free to be myself. But here, unluckily,everything are different. I was never be a favorite grandchild or a person they can be proud. Whatever they do, I still love them. The difference of me and cinderella is cinderella have a prince who loved him wholeheartedly. And me, I'm just an ordinary girl who think is impossible to get someone who can love me completely. I never asked for a prince to love me. I just want someone love me wholeheartedly someday.Cinderella have a happy ending. And I, I'm still waiting for the end of my story....